Saved From Myself
by Wicked-Witch-of-the-Midwest-18
Summary: you know the drill...I suck at summaries...just please read it! I OWN NOTHING EXCEPT MY CHARACTER
1. Chapter 1

"I hate you!" I screamed, tears streaming down my face as I glared at my boyfriend.

There was a flash of surprise that registered on his face, before he assumed a steely gaze. "What did you just say?"

Given the look on his face, I wasn't about to repeat myself, so instead, I started inching towards the door, hoping to make a quick getaway.

Of course, I had no such luck, and he stepped in front of me, glaring down at me. "And just where the hell do you think you're going?" he hissed, his grip on my arm tightening painfully.

I shrunk back, avoiding his eyes as I squeaked out, "I was going to go home."

He didn't say anything; just tightened his grip until I cried out in pain, then released me roughly. I stumbled back, but straightened quickly and headed for the door again.

This time I didn't make it more than two steps when he backhanded me, sending me to the ground. I was blinking back tears as he jerked me up and shoved me in the direction of the door. He threw my bag and jacket at me before opening the door. "Get out of here. I never want to see your slutty little face again."

Not having to be told twice, I practically sprinted out of his room and out the front door of his house, holding back my tears until I had safely made it outside. Then, I collapsed onto the curb and started bawling, my shoulders shaking violently.

It took me a while to calm down, but eventually the tears stopped and I took a couple of deep breaths, evaluating my injuries. My arm was already starting to bruise, and I knew I would have a nasty bruise on my face, but it was nothing I wasn't used to so I stood up, brushed myself off, and started walking.

I had no destination as I walked, my eyes focused on the ground so that I wouldn't meet anybody's eyes. Granted, this made not running into people a challenge, one that I failed miserably as I ran smack into someone's chest.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, not quite meeting the stranger's eyes as I straightened myself out.

"Don't worry about it love, it was entirely my fault," the other person, clearly male and clearly not from around here, replied to me.

The strange accent was enough to make me look up, my blood shot, dull green eyes meeting a pair of the most piercing blue eyes I had ever seen. They were filled with concern as he looked me over, making me duck my head again.

"I'm sorry," I repeated, still feeling the boy's eyes watching me.

I could hear him sigh softly before speaking again. "Are you alright there babe? You don't look so good."

It was sweet of him to ask, but I had experienced sweet before and the memories caused my barriers to instantly shoot up and I glared at him. "I'm fine."

His hands flew up in surrender, obviously surprised at my sudden change in mood. "Sorry to anger you, it's just that you've obviously been crying and there's a nasty bruise forming on your cheek."

This time it was my turn to sigh as I once more met his eyes. "No, it's fine, you were just asking a question. I'm sorry. And I really am fine." I told him, hoping he wouldn't catch my obvious lie.

As soon as the words left my mouth, I could tell he didn't believe me and of course he couldn't just leave it alone like I had been hoping. "I know it's not my place, but I can tell when someone is fine. And you, sweetheart, are not fine."

I couldn't help but admire the stranger's boldness, but I didn't let this show as I stared him down. "I told you, I am fine." I repeated again, emphasizing every word.

He sighed and pulled out a scrap of paper and a pencil from the pocket of his jacket. "You don't want to talk now, fine. But if you ever need anything, feel free to call or text me," he said, handing me the piece of paper which now had his number scrawled across it. "My name is Niall. Niall Horan."

Before I could reply, he had walked away, and I was left standing on the sidewalk with his number and a very confused brain. Shaking my head to clear, I stuffed the paper into my pocket and continued walking.

I reached my apartment and shuffled through the door, throwing my stuff on the table, suddenly completely exhausted. The events of the day had caught up to me and I collapsed onto my bed, falling asleep instantly.


	2. Chapter 2

The next thing I knew, I had woken myself up by falling of the bed in my sleep. Checking the clock, I groaned seeing that it was only three in the morning. I climbed back into bed, but my thoughts prevented me from falling back asleep.

Tears started running down my cheeks as my mind replayed what had happened over and over again. Sure, Hayden and I had never had the best of relationships, but he had been a huge part of my life for almost two years and now he was gone.

Almost in a trance, I got out of bed, stumbling through the darkness into the bathroom. I blindly dug through the drawers until I found what I was looking for; clutching it in my hand once I had found it.

I sat on the tile floor, leaning my head back against the cabinets as I prepared myself for what I was about to do. My hands were shaking as I pushed my sweatshirt sleeves up above my elbows, exposing my pale wrists. They were already littered with scars, some self-inflicted and some placed by Hayden.

Looking down at them, I could see the dark bruises from where my boyfriend had grabbed me and the sight sent me over the edge. I sobbed silently as the blade pierced my skin, the physical pain numbing the emotional pain, if only for a little while.

I woke up the next morning feeling like death. Falling asleep on the bathroom had been a terrible idea, something I was finding out the hard way as I slowly sat up, rubbing the back of my neck. It also didn't help that my arms and hips were covered in new cuts, all of which hurt tremendously.

The events of the previous day came flooding back once more and I started crying again, not only because of what had happened, but because I had relapsed. I had been cut free for almost five months, and now my streak was over. Tossing the razor that was still clutched in my hand off to the side, I cried until I had no tears, my face buried in my hands.

After I had effectively cried my eyes out, I slowly started cleaning myself up, blowing my nose, drying off my face, and washing off the blood. It was slow going and when I was finally done, I went and curled up on my bed, staring at the wall.

I could see the crumpled piece of paper with Niall's number written on it tossed carelessly on my night stand. To my surprise, I was overwhelmed with the sudden urge to call him, one that I tried my hardest to repress.

The strength of my will power must have grown significantly weaker because the next thing I knew, I was sitting up, the phone clutched in my hand, and I was listening to the dial tone coming from his end.

"Hello?" I nearly shrieked and dropped the phone when his accented voice came floating through the connection. "Hello, is anyone there?"

"H-hi. Is this Niall?" I asked quietly, my voice shaking both from crying and from fear.

"Yes, it is. Who is this?" he asked, his confusion clear to me even though I couldn't see him.

I was about to tell him my name when I remembered that I had never gotten the chance to tell him. Instead, I said, "This is, umm, this is the girl from yesterday."

"Oh! Hi! How are you? I realized I was in such a rush that I never got your name. Mind telling me?" he asked, no longer confused.

A tiny giggle escaped my mouth at his energy. "It's Ava. And I'm okay, I guess. How are you?"

"Well Ava, it's very nice to meet you. And just okay? Is something wrong?" Niall replied, completely ignoring my question.

"I, I just…" I started to answer him, but my voice got caught in my throat, tears threatening to spill onto my cheeks.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked gently.

I was touched by his concern for me, a complete stranger. So touched that I found myself saying yes to his offer. "But not over the phone, please. You can, umm, you can come here." I said, my voice trembling slightly as I told him my address. He told me he'd be right over and we both hung up.

The only thing I did in preparation for Niall coming over was to get up and unlock my front door. Otherwise, I got myself a glass of water and sat at the kitchen counter, running my finger along the edge of the glass.


	3. Chapter 3

About half an hour later, there was a knock at the door. "Door's unlocked; come on in!" I called out, assuming it was Niall. Sure enough, the door opened and his tousled blond locks poked around the door.

"Hey there Ava! Sorry it took so long, I stopped by Starbucks to pick up some drinks." He said as he came all the way inside, pushing the door shut with his foot.

I couldn't stop the small smile from crossing my face, touched by the kind gesture. "Thank you, very much. Come sit down." I replied, even as he was already taking a seat kitty corner from me.

Niall took his seat, handing me one of the drinks and taking a sip from his own before looking at me. "So…" he started slowly, "before we start talking about whatever it is that's going on, do you want to move somewhere more comfortable? I don't know about you, but this table isn't exactly a friendly atmosphere."

The thought hadn't even occurred to me until he said something, but I realized that he was right. "Yeah, umm, good idea. We can go sit on the couch I guess." I said, getting up and walking over to the couch, Niall following close behind.

"Much better," Niall smiled at me as we both got comfortable. "Now, what's the matter?" he asked, getting straight to the point.

I sighed quietly, and then bit my lip as I thought about where to start and what all I actually wanted to tell him. As if he could sense my hesitancy, he slowly reached out, resting one of his hands over mine. Normally I would pull away, but there was something about the gentleness and the kindness of the gesture that I stayed where I was.

"How about you just start at the beginning? You can tell me as much or as little as you want." He suggested after another minute of silence.

Looking up at him, I nodded slightly, taking a deep breath. "It's my boy, well, _ex_-boyfriend, Hayden. We've never had a perfect relationship, but I loved him and now…now it's over."

Niall was silent for a full minute, his brows furrowed as he thought about what to say. "So you mean to say that you're this beat up about a boy?" he asked, a slight tone of disbelief in his voice.

I winced slightly at his choice of words, but hoped he wouldn't notice as I nodded my head in response to his question.

Of course, this was Niall, and nothing got past him. It took him a little while, but I could almost see the understanding dawn on his face. "Wait a second…Ava? Did Hayden, umm, did he hit you?" he asked, looking almost scared to know the answer.

Tears started pricking at my eyes as I nodded again. "He's the one who gave me the nice black eye I have on my face." I told him, not being able to raise my voice above a whisper.

"Oh honey…" Niall sighed as he tried to pull me into a hug by the wrist. There was a good chance I wouldn't have let him hug me even on a good day, but with the fresh cuts on my arm I very nearly cried out in pain. As it was, there was a sharp intake of breath as I winced, pulling away from him.

Silently, he reached out and took a hold of my hand again and, despite my protests, pulled it closer to him and slowly pushed my sweatshirt sleeve up, revealing what I had done to myself.

Our eyes met as tears started to fall down my cheeks and I could see tears forming in his eyes as he gently squeezed my hand and then let it go. "Why?" was the only word he spoke.

"It just…everything got to be too much and I…I broke." I mumbled, trying my best to explain without actually telling him anything.

Niall bit his lip slightly and I could tell he wanted a better explanation but thankfully he stayed quiet. All he did was hold his arms out for me and I very slowly and reluctantly scooted closer until he could wrap them around me.

I winced again as his hand brushed my hip and I heard him sigh, whether in sadness or disappointment I'll never know. Either way, I shut my eyes and whispered, "I'm sorry…" without really knowing what I was apologizing for.

He rubbed my back gently, shaking his head. "It's not your fault Ava. None of this is your fault." He whispered, his voice somehow calming me down.

After I don't even know how long of sitting there, I lifted my head slightly, looking at Niall. "Thank you. For everything."

"It's no problem, just being nice to a friend." He shrugged slightly.

"No, you're not," I protested, sitting up a little so that I could look at him. "This is more than just being nice, plus we just met yesterday."

He sighed. "I just don't like seeing anyone hurt, so I try to do my best to help them. Especially you. I don't know why, but there's something about you that I'm just…drawn to. That's why I'm here with you instead of out with my friends like I had been planning."

I felt terrible when he said that I had ruined his plans, but also intrigued about what he had said. "What do you mean, you're drawn to me?"

Niall rubbed a hand across his face. "I'm not even sure. All I know is that you need a friend and I'm here to be that friend."

Not sure what to think of his statement, I bit my lip and rested my head against his shoulder lightly. He responded by tightening his grip around my waist and sighing quietly.

We remained in that position until Niall started suddenly. "Shit. Oh no. This is not good," he muttered and I moved off of him, looking at him curiously.

"Is something wrong?" I asked quietly, not quite meeting his eyes, sure that whatever was going on it was somehow my fault.

He was in the process of putting his shoes on when he turned to look at me. "No, nothing's wrong. I was just supposed to be somewhere at four."

I looked at the clock; it was 3:52. "Was it something important?" I questioned, mentally slapping myself even as I asked. Of course it was important; otherwise he wouldn't be so freaked out about it.

"It's just…umm…work. Yeah, I had something for work," Niall replied, a little hesitantly, as he pulled his sweatshirt on. "I'll see you later, right?"

My cheeks flushed involuntarily as I nodded. "Yeah, if you want. Um, good luck with your work thing." I replied.

Niall grinned at me, waving slightly as he walked out the door. I waved back before collapsing heavily into the couch.

_What just happened? _I thought to myself, closing my eyes as I leaned farther back into the cushions. Niall and I barely knew each other and yet I had invited him into my house and spilled pretty much every secret I had. And on top of all that, I had agreed to see him again. Frankly, I was surprised he had stayed here as long as he had, let alone wanted to meet up again. The whole thing was confusing and I was getting a headache just thinking about it.

After a minute or two, I got up shakily, making my way into the bathroom. I was still achy and my cuts hurt like hell so I opened the drawer and took out some Tylenol, grabbing two pills and swallowing them.

I walked back into the living room in a bit of a trance, mindlessly picking up the coffee cups and straightening things out as I walked through. It wasn't all that late, but I really had nothing better to do, so I sat back down on the couch and flipped the TV on.

There was nothing interesting on, so I changed it to one of the entertainment news channels and promptly fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

When I woke up a couple hours later, I felt much more refreshed, although my brain was still a little confused. I checked my phone out of habit, not expecting there to be any messages, but to my surprise there was one new text, from Niall:

_Hey Ava! Just making sure you're doing alright (:_

The fact that he had taken the time out of whatever he was doing with work, just to make sure I was okay made me happier than I had been in a long time. I couldn't remember the last time someone had done something so thoughtful and there was an idiotic grin on my face as I typed a response.

_I'm doing fine, thanks. Now get back to work babe. :P_

It wasn't until after I sent the text that I realized how stupid I must sound. I had, almost without thinking about it, tried to sound flirty or cute or funny but probably just weirded him out. The grin slid off my face and I sighed, setting my phone aside and leaning my head back.

I was half asleep when my phone buzzed, scaring the crap out of me. It took me a couple seconds to answer it, since I was a little scared of what Niall's response was going to be. Finally, I summoned some courage and opened the text, a tiny smile on my face as I read it.

_Good to hear babe. If you need anything, let me know and I'll be over as soon as I can. Xx_

So he wasn't completely repulsed by me! I couldn't help but smile at the thought. It didn't necessarily mean that he liked me, but that was alright with me.

_How sweet! I don't want to take you away from your work though…_

I sent back after a minute of thinking up a good response. I was used to over-thinking texts from boys, but in the past it had always been because I was terrified they were going to hurt me. This time I didn't even want to think about why I was over-analyzing Niall's texts.

Because if I thought about it, that would mean admitting to myself that there was a reason I was over-thinking. And having just gotten out of another bad relationship in a long line of bad relationships, I wasn't anywhere near ready to even think about wanting a new one.

But at the same time, I couldn't stop my mind from wandering to a different world; one where someone like Niall might actually like someone like me. It was nice to think about, just for a couple minutes, even if I knew it would never actually happen.


	5. Chapter 5

I would be lying if I said that I was disappointed two days later when Niall still hadn't mentioned meeting up again. It sounded pathetic, but typically when someone says they'll see you later, they make plans to actually see you later.

Sighing heavily, I got off the couch that I had practically lived on for the past two days. I didn't want to try and get ahold of him, because that would make me seem desperate, so instead I had been moping around, hating myself for getting this worked up over a guy I barely knew.

I walked into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water before plopping back down on the couch. Bored, I turned on the TV; even though I knew there usually wasn't anything good on at this time.

Flipping through the channels, I selected one at random, figuring I would just let it be background noise as I fell asleep yet again.

Two seconds later, I was bolt upright, sitting on the edge of the couch, and listening intently to the TV. I swear I had just heard Niall's name and sure enough, a few seconds later, his actual face showed up on the screen.

Flabbergasted, I continued to watch as the person onscreen interviewed the band, One Direction, which Niall was apparently a part of. When the short bit was done, I didn't know whether to be pissed that he hadn't told me, or thrilled that I was somewhat friends with someone who was apparently in a world famous boy band.

Unfortunately, with my mind being the dark place that it was, I was leaning more towards the pissed off option. And no matter how much I tried telling myself that I had no reason to be angry with him, it was no use.

Which was why, several minutes later, when Niall finally texted me, I just about chucked the phone against the wall. How dare he text me after days of silence? And yet, part of me was still overjoyed when I saw his name pop up on my phone.

_Hey babe, sorry it's been so long. Been busy. How are you?_

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Babe? How many other girls had he won over with such a simple sentiment? Seeing that he was famous, I would say quite a few. It took less than a second to type out my response and angrily press send.

_I'm fine._

And of course, Niall being Niall, he couldn't just leave it at that. He had to go and be super nice and make me hate myself for hating him.

_Don't lie to me Ava. Do you want me to come over so you can vent?_

My fingers moved faster than my brain did, replying to him before I really even processed what was happening.

_Yes, please._

He texted back, telling me he would be over shortly, and that was that. I couldn't decide who I hated more at that point, him or me for getting so stupid over a guy, again.

It took everything in me to not put any effort into getting ready for Niall to come over. There were bottles and Kleenexes and other trash everywhere, and I looked atrocious, but I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I had given in and tried to impress him.

About ten minutes later, there was a knock on the door and I called out, "Come in!" in the most uninterested voice I could muster.

A second later, the door opened and Niall walked in, a smile on his face. "Hey Ava!" he called out as he slipped his shoes off. I turned, looking at him with a look that was just short of a glare. My resolve almost broke when I saw him visibly flinch, but I turned away, the same look on my face.

He walked farther into the room, cautiously sitting down on the chair, an almost scared look on his face. Knowing that if I looked into his eyes I would lose it, I kept my gaze focused on the wall in front of me, not saying a word.

"Did I-did I do something wrong?" Niall asked quietly, his voice cutting straight to my heart.

I took a deep breath before answering in a mostly steady voice, "When were you planning on telling me you were famous?"

To my surprise and great annoyance, Niall started laughing. I whirled on him, a glare on my face, and he immediately stopped laughing. "Sorry, sorry! But seriously? That's what you're upset about? I was going to tell you."

"Oh really? You were going to tell me? When? Once you were off to another city and I was nothing more than a distant memory?" I spat out the questions, my anger growing for reasons I couldn't even begin to understand.

"No, I wasn't…I was just going to…I…" he stuttered out, all but confirming what I had said.

"That's what I thought," I said sourly, crossing my arms and turning away from him again.

There was a moment of silence and then a slight shift of balance on the couch. I flinched, and then stiffened as Niall placed a hand on my shoulder. He squeezed slightly and I pulled away, trying to ignore his sigh of defeat as he placed his hand back in his lap.

"I'm sorry for not telling you Ava, really I am. But you have to believe me when I say; I was planning on telling you. Today actually, so that I could explain where I was going for the next couple weeks. I'm sorry if me not saying anything right away made you upset or displaced your trust, and if you want me to leave I will, no questions asked. I won't like it, but I will walk out that door right now unless you want me to stay," his voice was quiet as he spoke and it took absolutely everything in me to not turn and throw my arms around his neck.

After an excruciatingly long pause, I heard Niall take a shaky breath. "Alright, I guess that's it then. I'll leave. But just know: I am going to miss you. So, so much," there was another short pause. "Good bye Ava," he whispered as he got up, putting his shoes on and walking out the door.


	6. Chapter 6

It took about three seconds after Niall was gone for me to burst into tears. I hated myself for it, but I just couldn't help the way that boy had gotten to me. And now he was gone, because I couldn't speak my mind.

The next several minutes passed in somewhat of a blur, with me somehow ending up sitting on my bed, covered in blood again. It had started as me trying to ease the pain of Niall leaving, but quickly ended up being out of self-loathing for getting so upset over a guy.

I sat on my bed for a little while longer, silent tears streaming down my face. I missed Niall. More than I cared to admit. But I couldn't just go after him. Not only because it would mean showing weakness, but also because I had no idea where to find him.

Moaning, my head fell into my hands, utter defeat written all over my face. I had no idea what to do next. But if I was getting this worked up over a guy I barely knew, one that I had absolutely no idea what his feelings toward me were, then I figured my life was pretty pathetic.

I glanced over towards my window, dark thoughts running through my head. How easy it would be to simply open the window and jump, ending the pain in a matter of seconds. It would be so easy, so quick, and it's not like it would make a difference to anybody.

Nobody would care if I was gone. Sure, some people would notice eventually, but they wouldn't care. It would be so simple.

Shaking, I got up, walking over to the window and sliding it open. There was a slight ledge before it dropped five stories to the street below. Ever so slowly, I edged onto the ledge, one leg after the other, until I was sitting down.

Looking down, there were almost no people on the street, just a few random passersby. I took a few deep breaths, trying to gain the courage to actually jump.

My eyes were squeezed shut and I was inching forward very slowly, knowing that if I looked down again I would never be able to do it.

A split second later, I was almost startled off the ledge by someone calling out my name. My eyes flew open on their own accord, frantically searching the ground below for the person who had spoken. It didn't take long for my gaze to land on a very familiar looking blond boy. His terrified look was visible even from fifty feet up.

"AVA! Ava, NO! Please don't! Don't move! PLEASE!" he yelled as I watched him run into the building.

The tears were pouring down my face again as I sat frozen to the ledge. I barely did more than breathe until Niall's strong hands wrapped around my waist. As soon as I felt his grip on me, I collapsed back into him, sobbing.

He pulled me inside and we fell to the floor, his arms still in a death grip around me. I turned slightly and cried into his shoulder as his tear-stricken voice whispered into my ear.

It took a while, but eventually I calmed down, taking deep, shaky breaths. As soon as I was mostly quiet, Niall let me go, standing up to pace the room.

I watched him as he walked, the tears still falling down his cheeks. He was the only guy I had ever seen cry and it broke my heart, especially knowing he was crying because of me.

Eventually I couldn't take it anymore. "I'm sorry," I whispered, looking down at the ground.

Niall stopped pacing and looked down at me. "Oh fuck Ava…" he muttered, sitting down next to me. He pulled me closer to him so I was pretty much on his lap. "Don't be sorry sweetheart. This isn't your fault. None of this is your fault."

"I just…I couldn't take it anymore. You were leaving and I couldn't stand that and then I couldn't stand myself because I had fallen for you so hard so fast and I still have no idea how you even feel about me, I mean you could hate me and I wouldn't be surprised because I kind of hate myself and-" I was interrupted by Niall crashing his lips down onto mine.

I pulled away quickly, out of surprise rather than disgust. Niall's face was panic-stricken until I flashed him a tiny smile. "I guess that answers that question."

Niall returned the smile. "How could you even think that I didn't like you? I did from the moment we ran into to each other. And none of that stuff matters to me. In fact, it makes me love you even more."

"Thank you Niall. You literally saved my life and there's no way I could ever repay you," I said quietly.

"Never try anything like that again, and do me the honor of being my girlfriend and I'll consider you more than repaid," he answered me.

I couldn't help but smile at his offer. "I honestly can't promise you anything about the first part, although I will try my best, but I definitely agree to the second part."

"Well, I guess that's all I can ask for then," Niall said, a half smile on his face.

I nodded slightly. "I'm really glad I'm not dead," I whispered softly.

"So am I," he responded, just as quietly, before he leaned in and kissed me softly.


End file.
